Changing Forms
by Meg Roper
Summary: Set in Harry's 5th through 7th year in Hogwarts. Book 6 spoilers included! Lupin and Tonks' feelings for each other become more than friendly as they explore the option of a relationship. Will their 14 year age difference matter?
1. The Diary of Nymphadora Tonks

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 1 -

The Diary of Nymphadora Tonks

_ I've been watching him lately. I've noticed that my gaze has turned from curiosity to fascination to infatuation. I think I can say now that indeed what I feel is lust. But is it love? No. Not yet. For there to be love, two people have to be together in it. Well—he has to know first. He doesn't know how I feel. Not at all. He still thinks about me as Tonks. Me, clumsy, silly Tonks. I wish I could change his perspective._

_ I don't know exactly when these feelings for him started. Probably after the Order of the Phoenix was started up again. He'd come and go from Sirius' house on urgent errands. Dumbledore knew how to put him to good use. Dumbledore knew when he had a good thing on his hands._

_ I wish I could just shed this shy disposition. I feel like I'll always just be Tonks, the girl (or woman, as I prefer, now that I'm 23) who, at will, changes her hair from blue to pink and back to brown. I just need to be pointed down the right fork in the road. A little courage would do. Sometimes I've thought I should take a luck potion or a courage potion…. But it would be artificial. I want it to be real when… if it happens. I so badly want it to happen._

_ I want to reach up to his worn face and kiss him without saying a word. I imagined it would be when we were alone, in an elevator in the Ministry Headquarters, or just outside. I don't care that he's 14 years older than me. I am in awe of everything about him. His simple sweaters, his classic ties, his briefcase bearing the name of R. Lupin. Remus Lupin—what a name._


	2. The Lull of St Mungo's

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 2 -

The Lull of St. Mungo's

It had been 10 hours since Nymphadora Tonk's sustained serious injury in the Department of Mystery at the Ministry of Magic Headquarters. She was in a potion-induced sleep. There were members of the Order of the Phoenix moving from room to room at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Some of the Order had been injured in the struggle, and also some of Harry's friends.

There was only one person in Nymphadora's room. Remus Lupin. He sat as close to Nymphadora's bed as possible, both hands clasped together, resting on the bed. He hadn't moved much since Nymphadora had taken her sleeping potion. He wanted to stay there and wait for her to wake up.

_ No doubt they gave her a sleeping potion to help ease the pain of Sirius's passing,_ Remus thought as he watched her gently breath. Remus himself was having a hard time cope with the loss of his dear friend Sirius. But he knew that being of relation to Sirius, not knowing him for most of your life, then suddenly meeting him and bonding only to have him ripped away from you so soon must be heartbreaking. Sirius was a great person. His heart ached at the thought of himself being the only left of the foursome he knew back in school. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Well, Wormtail was around still, of course. But the Pettigrew Remus knew had died long ago. He had died the day he betrayed Lily and James, and the day Remus found out it was Peter instead of Sirius.

And Remus also thought on poor Harry. Losing his parents was bearable, yet sad, because he didn't have many memories of his parents. It's easy to lose something you can't remember. But Harry had something so close to a parent. Harry wanted so badly for Sirius to get his name cleared and to move in with him. To experience something that was as close to his father and mother as he possibly could. It was unfortunate.

Nymphadora tossed in her sleep, mumbling and uttering things.

"Sirius—" she said, "no… not Sirius." Remus's eyebrows furrowed as he felt the sting of tears coming on. "My fault…." She sobbed in her sleep. Remus knew the sleeping potion must have been wearing off. Remus took Nymphadora's nearest hand in his, and stroked it with the other. Her breathing slowed. "Remus…" she said calmed, low, almost inaudible. But Remus heard it.

_ What?_ He thought. _Maybe I was just hearing things. _Remus in fact, wished that he wasn't hearing things. But the more he thought about her saying his name, the more he believed she actually said it. His heart fluttered a bit, but then slowed. _Maybe she just said the name of the person in her dream—there in the Department of Mysteries. Nothing romantic about it… nothing personal._

Tonks' eyes rolled as she flinched, waking herself up suddenly. She looked confused at what she saw around her, but remembered what had happened. She was in St. Mungo's. The nurse had given her a sleeping potion when she could no longer control her crying. The pain, too, was a factor in the sleeping potion. She looked to her right and saw Lupin. Her stomach filled with ice as she felt her pale face go slightly pink, regaining some of her natural color.

"Remus…" she said, weakly. Her entire body still hurt. She knew it would take a while for the injuries to heal. She noticed Remus was still holding her hand. She breathed in.

"How are you doing, Nymphadora?" Remus asked. Tonks was shocked at him using her first name, which he did not very often. But she knew why he was using her first name. She knew the seriousness of the matter. She knew that Sirius had died, and she thought she was to blame. Her cousin, who she barely knew, ripped from her life—all of their lives.

"It's easy when you're asleep." She said simply, feeling that crying prickle inside her chest. She looked up at Remus's beautiful blue eyes, which looked tired. Nymphadora found that she couldn't keep herself calm by looking at them. There was so much truth to him, so much honesty. She knew that if she could just get herself there, he'd be a wonderful supporter. She sat up, and looked at their joined hands.

Nymphadora felt the tears well up in her eyes as she stared down at her weaved, pink blanket. "I know it's not as hard as it is for you, having known him for so long." She said after a moment. "I know it must seem silly that I'm so distraught over this." She looked back up at Remus's penetrating eyes. He had sorrow in his eyes too. She struggled to stop the tears from welling, and refused to blink as she formed a pool in each eye. But, she failed, and each tear fell silently.

Remus stood up and sat on Nymphadora's bed. Nymphadora breathed in a sharp breath, and began to sob. Remus did something Nymphadora had wished he'd do—he took her in his arms and embraced her, letting her tears fall onto his shoulder, as his fell as well.

"Remus," she said, sobbingly, her voice muffled in his arm, "why do I feel this?"

Remus closed his eyes, and stroked Nymphadora's hair. "Because you loved him. Just as I did." Remus leaned back and looked at Nymphadora's face—_her beautiful face,_ Remus thought—and wiped away the tears.


	3. At a Stand Still

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 3 -

At a Stand-Still

Nymphadora had since been recovered—physically, not mentally. She refused to let anyone know of her pain. She went about work as an Auror, dealing with the Ministry's new "wise-up-to-the-fact-that-we-know-you-know-who-is-alive" plan. It was about time. And one other thing happened that made her a little happy: Sirius's name was cleared.

The Minister of Magic, Fudge, had made a statement that had made its way to every paper, stating that Sirius Black was in fact not responsible for the death of many, but wrongly accused. This was all perfect, however, seeing as Sirius was dead—no one would be afraid of that.

And to make matters worse, Nymphadora had not been able to change her features anymore since her injury. Or was it Sirius's death? Or was it her constant pining secretly for Lupin? Only Nympadora knew. She knew that someone would begin to wonder why she wouldn't go back to her usual shades of the rainbow. She knew that brown was too understated for her. Oh, how she longed to have short red tresses, or medium length green locks. Someone would notice soon, but she knew they wouldn't say anything for propriety.

On one weekend, Tonks was lucky enough to briefly see her love interest, Remus. He was looking a little harrier, now that it was about a week to the full moon. This made Nymphadora smile.

"Remus, you know with that potion you can be around people," Nymphadora had told him at his current home. Remus had not liked Nymphadora's insistence to stay with him during his change. He knew she was just doing it out of the goodness of her heart. They had sort of a bonding that night in the hospital. And Remus secretly didn't want her to be afraid of him during those times. He wanted her to keep the image of him she has, not of the one she doesn't have.

"Tonks," Remus said rationally, "with the potion, I can pretty much take care of myself. I padlock the doors from the inside, set a charm so I'm the only one allowed in. Plus, it's only one night a month—it's nothing exciting. With the potion, I'm just like a big, bored mutt."

Nymphadora wasn't going to give up. "Please Remus. I don't like the idea of you being alone—er, in these times. Plus, I think I need to practice my skills with dogs—I've been meaning to get a Crup. Aweful cute blighters…" She finished with a twinkle in her eye, and a "pleaaaaaaaase" look that made Remus's insides melt.

Remus could feel his face prickle at the sight of Nymphadora's cute attempts. "Errr—It wouldn't be any fun—you might get hurt—it's just one night—alright!" Nymphadora smiled and almost hugged Remus. "But! That doesn't mean that you get to do it every month! This is just to show you what you're 'missing'." Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled to himself when Nymphadora hugged him around the neck quickly.

"If you don't already have a cauldron of Wolfsbane, I can make some, I was N.E.W.T level. You have to be to be an Auror—but you know that." Remus nodded.

"Ah," Remus said, indicating a large vial of potion. "Dumbledore was kind enough. But no doubt he'll be getting busier. Perhaps you could make it after this month?"

Nymphadora beamed. "No problem." She made her robes straighter. "I should be off—Auror business. You don't mind that I made such a short visit do you—"

"Of course not." Remus said reassuringly. "Just stop by next week before the sun goes down."

Nymphadora smiled and stood back a ways before apparating out of Remus's house. Remus looked forward to spending more time with Nymphadora, but at the same time, he dreaded it as well.

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Author's Note: That last chapter was SO hard to write. I just spent the evening at a house with cats... and my eyes would not stop watering. Thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming, I love to know that people are reading my stories! This is my first fan fic in a few years, so I'm still trying to give this story a little more credibility than the others I wrote. Thanksguys!


	4. Boggarted Fears

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 4-

Boggarted Fears

Wand in her left hand, Nymphadora quickly grabbed a jacket with her right hand. It was unusually chilly for a summer evening. It had been a constantly pleasant week so far, but this evening was an exception. It was sort of befitting, seeing as Nymphadora was about to witness something Remus was trying so hard for her not to see. Something he wished to protect her from. He would have given anything to make sure she was safe, unharmed. Remus wondered whether these feelings were from friendship, or other. He had to admit, she was strikingly beautiful. The 'striking' part often coming from her selection in hair color. But he loved it when she would appear with a cute button nose, short brown hair and that usual twinkle in her eye. But he noticed that twinkle had been missing of late. He wondered whether Sirius was the cause. Or perhaps she was troubled by something else?

The sun was getting closer to the horizon. Nymphadora knew she would have to Apparate quickly, before the moon came out. Being polite, she Apparated just outside Remus' door and knocked in a perfectly un-rushed manor. Remus answered the door looking tired, but reluctant to see her.

"Nymphadora, you need not knock." Remus said, welcoming her in. Nymphadora took off her robes and set them on the coat rack next the door. She stood, waiting for Remus to give her instruction. "By jove, Tonks, take a seat, make yourself at home. I'd hate for you to stand around as my own personal statue all night whilst I turn." Nymphadora smiled, pulling out a chair casually, and making herself comfortable.

Remus went to the small, open kitchen by the table at which Nymphadora sat. He looked at his clock on the wall. It read 8:30. He then took a deep breath and reached for the vial of Wolfsbane he had handy. Remus turned and walked over to the dining table and sat next to Nymphadora, their knees a foot from each other.

"Cheers," Remus said as he pinched his nose and desperately drained the vial. He made a face that told Nymphadora he knew it was foul tasting, but having done it so much, he knew it would pass. Nymphadora too knew how foul Wolfsbane tasted. She'd made several chauldrons of it and was foolish enough to take Slughorn's advice to taste it. She'd always been a gullible girl. Gullible enough to not pick up Slughorn's sarcasm.

"Egh," Nymphadora uttered, closing her eyes and shuddering at the memory, "did I tell you that Slughorn once convinced me to try that stuff?" Remus put the vial down and made a relieved gasp for air.

"You don't say?" He rolled his eyes and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief. "I'm not surprised." Nymphadora nodded. "…Not surprised you took him seriously," he added shortly after, accepting a punch in the arm from Nymphadora. She laughed in disbelief.

"You!" She said, smiling. "I can't believe you.."

The two sat in silence for some time, nervously looking at random objects in Remus' house. Nymphadora tried to stifle a yawn and a stretch. "Tired already?" Remus asked. "The moon's not even out yet!"

Nymphadora opened her eyes and looked at Remus. She stopped mid-stretch and said, "oh… well, I had a long night. Auror business."

"Oh?" Remus said, politely asking for more conversation material.

"Mungdungus again," she said, monotonously, "He's been causing an aweful ruckus in Manchester. We thought it was Dark Magic." She rolled her eyes and rested her head on her hand. "Turns out he just accidentally set off a crate of stolen Chinese fireworks."

Remus nodded. "I'd expect as much." He then grabbed his wand and conjured two mugs of butterbeer. "Care for one?" he offered her the mug, and she graciously accepted. "Well, no doubt you're tired from last night's attempts at capturing another raging Death Eater." Nymphadora made a slight 'hmf' sound. "If you fall asleep tonight, I won't blame you. You may take my bed, seeing as I'll have no use for it—if you have need of it, that is." He indicated a stairwell.

"Thank you Remus." She said, smiling. "I might take you up on that offer. But not immediately. I rather enjoy talking with you, while I can get more than a howl out of you."

Remus nodded and looked at his mug. "You're sure you want to be here?"

Nymphadora rested her hand on his knee for a brief moment. "More than anywhere else tonight." She blushed slightly as Remus looked surprisingly at her. She couldn't help but blush when he turned those blue eyes on her. "You're my friend, Remus," she added, for fear of awkwardness.

_Oh, you daft cow, you shouldn't have saved yourself like that!_ She thought. _Let him find out… **But what good is it when he'll be turning into a Warewolf any minute now?**_

Remus smiled halfheartedly. He secretly hoped she wouldn't have said 'friends'. But he knew she was fighting something.

They spent the next 10 minutes chatting, as they usually did, though not as lightly. Remus knew Nymphadora was shouldering a great sorrow. He wished to lift it for her, for a short while even. If he could just hold her even. He finished his mug of butterbeer, as did she. They sat in silence once again. Nymphadora breathed lightly and opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when she heard something that shocked her. A great thunderbolt erupted from the then looming clouds. She could hear the slow patter of rain on the ground and roof outside. She smiled at Remus, that twinkle again in her dark eyes.

"Looks like you might not have to change any time soon," she said, lightning up. She stood and made to grab Remus' mug to take it to the kitchen for cleaning but Remus grabbed her wrist before she could. He stood, piercing into her dark eyes with his. Nymphadora's heart raced as he reached his hand up to her face and brushed back her mousy brown hair. Their breathing picked up as the two grew nearer to each other. Remus didn't waste any more time and shyly pressed his lips against hers.

Her lips were so soft against his. His stomach filled with ice at the excitement. He was glad she was returning the soft kiss. He rested his hand at the nape of her neck, lightly brushing her ear with his thumb. Remus' heartbeat picked up as he lightly parted her lips. Their tongues worked by themselves as they explored something the two of them had secretly dreamed about. He then let her wrist go and rested his arm around her waist. Nymphadora's eyelids fluttered as Remus broke their kiss. She opened her eyes to see Remus's blue eyes staring straight back down at her with a look of relief. He'd been waiting so long to do that. Their breathing matched each others as he held her, the rain beating against the window.


	5. Remus’ Blunders and Blessings

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 5 -

Remus' Blunders and Blessings

It seemed like hours since Remus had kissed her, but in fact it had only been 15 seconds. He stared down into her dark eyes, ready to kiss her again; not just ready, but eager. He would have, only he felt Nymphadora shivering in his arms. The rain must have brought on some of the cold. Not to mention Remus' house was a bit chilly all of the time. He liked it that way. He was used to having no one around to object to what ever temperature it was. Remus quickly broke himself from his daze.

"You must be cold," he said as he walked and got her sweater from the coat hanger. He quickly helped her put it on, rubbing her arms to make her warm. He loved being this close to her. He loved the feeling he had on his lips. Hers had burned into his, leaving a mark that he was sure was visible, that he thought would be there forever. After that first kiss, he wanted to go back for more. She hadn't said a word since. He would have been worried, but she did indeed return the kiss.

Their faces were no more than a foot apart as they gazed at each other, as if exploring a new world.

"Remus…" she whispered as he lightly traced her jaw line with his finger. He quickly silenced her with the same finger, lightly touching those beautiful, pink lips.

"Don't spoil it…" he kissed her once more, bringing her closer with the arm that was again wrapped around her waste. Her arms found his shoulders shyly. Nymphadora's head was spinning as this was happening to her. She found she could no longer control her body as her arms wrapped gently around his neck, finding his hair with one hand, stroking the top of his neck.

Remus' feet began to move as he continued to get carried away. Nymphadora moved with his steps only to not fall over, clinging to his shoulders dearly. They both made a slight sound when the couch stopped Nymphadora. They broke their kiss and looked at each other, each trying to find their breath.

"Remus…" Nymphadora said, searching his blazing blue eyes. "How long? When? I… I didn't know you did too, I…." Remus smiled as she rambled in excitement.

"I knew." He said "I knew when you said my name in your sleep at St. Mungo's." Nymphadora's face went red. She quickly turned away, putting her hands on the couch saying "Oh, no, you must have thought I was crazy…" Remus simply put his hands on Nymphadora's hips, kissing her neck, sending prickles down her spine as his lips tickled her.

"Not at all," he said gently, "actually, I was a bit, well… I liked hearing you say my name." Now Remus was the one blushing. Nymphadora turned around to see Remus diverting his eyes. Nymphadora smiled and giggled. She put her hands on the side of Remus' face and kissed him with such deep, penetrating passion that Remus picked her up and put her onto the couch.

Nymphadora squealed with shock as she bounced down onto the cushions. "Remus!" she said in shock as she sat up. Remus was rounding the couch and sat down next to Nymphadora's hip and kissed her. Nymphadora leaned back with a sigh.

They both were so caught up in themselves that they barely noticed the storm raging outside, the clouds blocking out the full moon. It had been nearly an hour since Remus had first kissed Nymphadora, and neither of them were about to stop. Remus broke apart from Nymphadora, panting.

He bent over Nymphadora's face, touching it with the gentlest touches, focusing on his favorite parts: her lips, eyebrows, cheeks and jaw line. He kissed her on the forehead, letting her know he was fully at ease.

Remus was pulling back, only to have his neck stopped by Nymphadora's hand. She leaned up and paused at Remus' ear. She whispered something so low that it was barely audible, something Remus froze at.

"Make love to me, Remus." Nymphadora leaned back and gazed honestly into Remus' eyes. Remus stared back, in total shock. As his heart raced, he took Nymphadora's hand and helped her stand from the couch. They never let go of each other, even as they walked up the stairs together.

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It had been an hour since Remus and Tonks had made love, both smiling and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Remus lay in bed with Nymphadora for quite some time, resting on one arm, gazing down at Nymphadora, who covered herself with a few blankets. The storm had slowed to a small shower, but Nymphadora it would soon be over and Remus would end up changing. So she took it all in, snuggling up to Remus' chest, trying desperately not to doze off.

"Sleeping, are we?" Remus would say when he saw her eyes close for more than 20 seconds. She would snap her eyes back open and mumble something that resembled "sorry, shouldn't wanna with you 'ere, I wanna stay 'wake." Remus chuckled and smiled as he stroked her hair with his free hand.

"No, you sleep." He said, kissing her forehead. "I know you'll probably have to take the day off tomorrow, you'll be so tired."

"Mhmmm…" Nymphadora managed to say as her eyes stayed shut.

Remus kept stroking her hair as he looked out the window. The rain had stopped, and that meant that the moon would be out. Remus carefully slid out from under the blankets and slipped on a pair of pants. He gave a look at Nymphadora of adoration as he pulled the blankets further up to cover her shoulders. He slipped out of the room quietly and closed the door, locking it with a simple charm—just in case. He wasn't about to let himself hurt her in his changed form, whether or not he had taken Wolfsbane.

He walked down the stairs and settled on the couch, waiting for the moment when the moon peered out of the clouds. He sat there, thinking on all that had transpired that night. He would have never guessed that all of that could have happened. Nymphadora had somehow bewitched him—but not literally. He could still smell her light perfumed scent as he closed his eyes. He thought then on something else that touched on home base. Their age.

Remus was 14 years older than Nymphadora! She was 23 years old! She'd only been an Auror for a year. However brilliant she was, she was still a young lady. Remus felt old, weary; too old for a firecracker like her. But he wanted it so badly. But how could he have her while keeping her safe from himself? He didn't know, but as the moon peered out from a cloud, he was filled with a final human emotion. Guilt.

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Thanks for the continuing support! I've got a great plot coming out in my head, so I'll probably keep making faster updates to keep the ideas fresh! Bet you guys will like that! ;o) I've just made my profile, so if you guys want to check that out, that's great. Any comments are welcome, I love hearing from you guys!


	6. The Hole in the Wall

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 6 -

The Hole in the Wall

Tonks was awoken gently by the chirping of birds outside. Her beautiful alabaster-smooth skin felt cool against Remus' plain white sheet; all other blankets had been expelled last night due to the heat factor. Nymphadora raised herself up on her elbows, yawning and moaning as a smile met her face. She looked out the window to see a rain soaked forrest. Nymphadora then turned and lay on her back, sheet covering herself. She ran her fingers through her hair—now the beautiful shade of red, bounding with curls. She seemed to have an unusual weight lifted from her shoulders. She had finally become a little happier, coming closer to Remus, making love to him. Last night was a bit crazy, she had to admit. It all started on Remus' clock. He kissed her first. That made her so very happy.

Nymphadora sat up, wrapping the white sheet around her body, tucking it in so it would stay. She padded, barefoot, over to the door, which she quickly found was locked. She tried it again. Still, it would not budge. She quickly rummaged for her wand, which she found laying on the floor somewhere between Remus' jumper and her bra. With a simple "alohamora", the door opened. She descended the stairs, wand still in hand. She wondered where Remus was. She assumed that the rain had stopped before sunrise. She was sort of glad he didn't wake her—she was very tired from Auror business. She thanked heavens that today was a Saturday, remembering that she would not have to ask off for the day.

Her bare feet touched the old wooden floor of the first story. She quietly tiptoed around, looking for Remus, where she found him exhausted on the couch, naked as a jaybird. She looked at him and admired what she so miraculously enjoyed last night. Her mind quickly strayed to the previous night: his nimble fingers working at her clothes, his grace at taking off his own (along with her help), his lips on her neck, his sweet whispers in her ear as they made love—"I've dreamt about this" and "you are amazing", her favorites being simply her name, and the way he traced her bare body with his fingers when they lay in front of each other, free of shame.

Nymphadora rounded the couch and sat on it, close to his hip. She stroked his graying hair with her hand. He opened his eyes and was shocked when he saw her. His eyes, she noticed, were once again, wrought with exhaustion, rimmed in red. "My god, Nymphadora," he said, relieved, "I thought for a minute you were Lily."

"Oh," she said, not knowing what to say.

"No, no, no!" Remus added, sitting up. "Lily and I were never involved. Just confused when I woke up." He quickly smiled at her stroking her medium length hair. "You look beautiful." She sighed and closed her eyes, and quickly changed her hair brown, maintaining the length. Remus was shocked at the change he'd witnessed.

"I've never seen you do that before," he said, smiling.

"The past 24 hours have been a series of firsts for the both of us." Nymphadora added, matter-of-factly and sweetly.

"What do you mean by that?" Remus added, confused.

"Well," Nymphadora said at length, "our first kiss, first time you saw me morph, the first time we had sex…" She looked down at her want and buffed at a spot on the handle. "First time I had sex…" Slowly, she looked back at Remus, blushing.

Remus stared at her dark eyes. "Oh, Nymphadora, why didn't you say something?"

"Because I wanted what happened." She said reassuringly. "I wanted to make love to you, and I wasn't afraid. I have no regrets." Remus nodded.

"But I feel like a royal pervert," he said, "taking the virginity of a girl 14 years my youth."

"Girl?" Nymphadora said indignantly and quietly.

"That's not what I meant." Remus said, quick to defend himself.

"I understand, Remus," Nymphadora said, true to her word. She took his hair in her hand and gave him a passionate kiss, ignoring the awkward fact that Remus Lupin was naked on his couch, and she was dressed in his bed sheet.

She leaned back and looked truthfully into his eyes and said "I'm glad you were my first."

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I need to get dressed." He gently pulled himself up, walking along the couch, using it for balance in his weakened condition. Nymphadora, concerned for him, followed him up the stairs, sheets gathered in her hands. She silently stood at the doorway as he dressed himself in his favorite muggle clothes, boxers and a t-shirt.

He began picking up his clothes, evidence that last night was filled with unadulterated and emotional passion. In his work, he began speaking, choosing his words carefully. A little too carefully, Nymphadora noticed.

"Nymphadora. I think, and I only thought this afterwards, that last night perhaps wasn't such a great idea. Not a mistake, but not a wise idea." He stopped at the last sock and put them all on his bed, sitting at the corner of it, grabbing her hand and making her sit as well. "I feel awful for taking that from you. I feel that… Nymphadora… I'm too old for you. I'm 14 years older than you. 37 years old—"

"I don't care." Nymphadora added, searching Remus' face.

"Reguardless." He continued. "I can't stand the fact that I was hurting you last night and you didn't even let me know. It's my last wish to hurt you. I'm not suited for you. I'm much too poor ('money is no object' she quickly interjected), I am a warewolf—I could put you in danger ('we saw last night that it wasn't a problem'), again I'm too old for you ('I don't care!')."

Remus pleaded with his eyes. "Nymphadora. I can't do this to you."

Nymphadora could tell he was being serious and steadfast in his decision. She stood from the bed and quickly began dressing, not caring whether Remus watched, though she felt very violated. She was well aware that Remus watched with sorrowful eyes. She gathered her wand and walked out the door and down the stairs.

"Nymphadora," Remus said, "please don't leave in this state."

Nymphadora stopped at the door, grabbing her jumper and looking back, tears falling down her face.

It was then that Remus felt the most remorse he'd ever felt. He felt remorse for saying all those awful things to her. He'd have taken them back if he could. But somehow he knew that Nymphadora would still be hurt. He believed all those things about himself and how he wasn't good enough for Nymphadora. But he wanted so badly for her to just slap him and make him believe that he was good enough. He wanted so badly to have woken up next to her, smiling at her incoherent "good morning". But as she turned and walked out the door, he knew the deed was done. He watched her Disapparate through the open door. He wanted to follow her, but unfortunately, Remus had no clue where she was going. He closed the door, and silently paced around his house before slamming his fist through the wall, repairing it, and watching his hand bleed, tears falling from his face.


	7. Honeysuckle and Antiques

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 7 -

Honeysuckle and Antiques

The potion in the cauldron bubbled slightly as it turned from a light sea foam green to a shiny mother-of-pearl color. The witch making the potion had her mousy brown hair up with a wand stuck through it. She was looking exhausted and rather emotional. She had given up trying to hide the tears that had been shed. She made sure not to get any of these tears in the potion. She learned in her 6th year at Hogwarts that if you get tears in it, it makes the drinker walk into walls as if they were doors.

She paused a moment from stirring as she breathed in it's beautiful scent of honeysuckle, antique shops and holiday spices. She was tempted to stop stirring altogether, but knew she couldn't. After a grueling 40 more stirs, the potion was done. With a shaky hand, she put a ladle into the cauldron and got a small vile full of the mother-of-pearl liquid. She quickly put a stopper on top and looked at it. It glinted guiltily at her, almost with a hint worthy of Haddie Rochester, Head Girl of her 7th year. She could feel the tears coming again, and didn't stop them.

She threw the vial across the room, hearing it smash against her fireplace. She sunk to the ground, clinging to the table on which her cauldron rested. Wrought with fits of crying, she could not seem to find the energy to stand. Once she stopped the images of his handsome face from flashing in her memory, she was able to pull herself up to the cauldron. She looked at it longingly.

"Nymphadora, you stupid git," she said to herself scathingly. She quickly made the potion disappear with a flick of her wand and a simple incantation. The moment she did so, she wished he hadn't. But she knew it was right. It couldn't be artificial. She had it for two, maybe three beautiful hours. But she wasn't about to take it undeservingly. She knew that to get Remus Lupin's love, you had to earn it. And no amount of Amortentia or any love potion would change that. But for those brief hours, she felt she'd earned it. So why was he taking it away? He didn't seem to be the type to give something so beautiful away to no one. He was so soft spoken, so polite. The type you want to keep forever. The brave, beautiful, silent and wise type. Someone to grow old with—no matter how old he _thought_ he was to begin with.

No, she would just have to take her pain with those few hours. Those hours seemed like a life time, but a lifetime that lasted only a minute. Nymphadora, exhausted from crying and advanced potion making, dragged herself upstairs and collapsed on her very soft bed and forgot for a brief six hours that she'd ever been crying.

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Sorry I took so long to update guys! I've been pretty busy with a Shakespeare Workshop/Julliard Intensive. Gearing up for the fall play! But I've been thinking about my story and NO I'm not going to abandon it. I love it dearly! School starts in a few days for me, but I know I'll find time for this story. Don't lose faith in me ;o).

WeasleyWife: Thanks for reading my story! I had hoped you would!


	8. Surprises in the Garden

**Changing Forms**

Chapter 8 -

Surprises in the Garden

Nymphadora had since cheered up, only a little. Just enough to make people think that nothing was wrong. Clumsy she might have been, though she was a great actress. She'd spent her evenings gardening, reading, and catching up with her friends—whenever she could. Most of her time was devoted to being an Auror and also a very involved member of the Order of the Phoenix. She was surprised, however, to find that she had not run into Remus since she left his house that night about two weeks ago. She chose to think of this as purely coincidental. Remus didn't seem to be the type to avoid someone for a childish reason. But the thing was, it wasn't childish. On the contrary, it was a very adult issue. Nymphadora had found herself almost falling in love with someone for the first time, only to have her heart shattered.

She wasn't about to give up, but at the same time, wasn't about to go sprout sonnets to Remus. She minded her own business. She thought of what she'd do, what she'd say, how she'd act when she finally ran into Remus. She thought maybe she'd act like nothing happened. But of course, Remus being himself, would probably have a talk with her. She thought about the silent treatment, only speaking to him in small phrases like "yes" and "no". Part of her wanted to walk straight up to him and give him a nice slapping. And another wanted to just look him in the eyes with a pained look and walk away in the hopes that maybe it would make him feel a little guilt. She knew he felt something that night. It was obvious; the way a few tears silently fell down his face, the way he was so gentle with her, his attention to the smallest details, how his breath matched hers, his smiles at awkward moments. It was so beautiful that night, learning the way both of their bodies functioned. Of course they knew, but each has their own touch.

On one particular Sunday morning, Nymphadora was busy pulling weeds, throwing gnomes and planting flowers for the next season when she was surprised. She heard someone talking to her, and what she heard wasn't exactly nice.

"Hey, mind not throwing the grub?"

Nymphadora sat up on her knees and looked around. "What…?"

And out of the corner of her eye, she saw a giant ferret coming out of a holly bush. He had a very disgruntled look on his face. "You heard me, you're ruinin' the pickin's!"

Nymphadora smiled. She had a Jarvey in her garden! She'd always wanted one. She thought they were cute, even though they did shout obscenities at you. "I'll stop throwing the gnomes, if that's what you're wanting me to do."

"Bloody right," the Jarvey said, and slinked off to chase a gnome that had gained his bearings.

"Wotcher, what a cute blighter," she said, slightly giggling.

"Good to hear you laughing," a voice came from behind her. Nymphadora turned around, hair pulled up, falling in all different places. She wiped away a bit of sweat with her gardening gloves.

"Remus…" she said, a sinking feeling in her stomach. _Blimey, what do I say?_ "Wotcher, it's a surprise, you being here…" She stood, slightly nervous and walked over to him, tripping over a rock. She stumbled, but caught herself in time, saving herself from less than total embarrassment. "Got to get my bearings I guess."

They exchanged a look for a brief moment, neither of them speaking. Remus took it upon himself to be the one to break the silence. "I have a message from Dumbledore," he said, handing her a letter.

"Why not by owl?" she said, suddenly realizing the rudeness in her question. "Oh, I'm sorry, I mean… Is it that important?"

"I wouldn't know." He said. "You can be the one to tell me after you read it."

Nymphadora snapped out of it and took off her gardening gloves and put them under her arm.

_Nymphadora,_

_ As you may well know, Harry's 6th year in school is drawing closer. And as the threat of Voldemort is drawing more and more dangerous, I feel the need to place you onornear to the school grounds. I will mostly likely place you, if you are willing, in Hogsmeade, on the second floor of the Three Broomsticks with Madame Rosmerta. She has very kindly agreed to let out a room to you._

_ Please send your word as soon as possible with Remus, who I have entrusted this letter to. If you agree to this task, I look forward to seeing you and expect you to be present in Hogsmeade the first day of the new term._

_ PS – I have cleared this with Rufus Scrimgeour, and he will recognize this act as a Ministry assignment._

Nymphadora looked up at Remus. "Ah, he's asked me to live atop the Three Broomsticks for Harry's 6th year in Hogwarts."

Remus looked sideways at a Jarvey playing with a gnome before the inevitable killing. "Understandable. And this has been approved by Srimgeour?"

"It says it has," she said, holding up the letter. "I'm to send my answer with you. I'll just come inside to write up my reply." She stepped onto her porch and awkwardly turned back to Remus. "Come inside," she said. She realized that Remus had not been inside her house for a very long time, and then again realized that soon she would not be able to return to her house. Well, there goes my gardening…

She walked to a desk near the fireplace and took a small piece of parchment and wrote out a simple answer with her Fwooper quill, a present to her from her mother. She sealed it and turned to Remus, handing it to him quickly, avoiding his eyes and touch.

"Well, I…" Nymphadora said at length.

"I'd better go, I guess," Remus said, brandishing the letter. He hesitated for a moment, looking on Nymphadora's face. He longed to drop the letter, wrap his arms around her and make her pain go away. The pain he could see in her overworked eyes, her frizzy hair—which he noticed had not changed since the morning she left his house.

He tightened his mouth in a sort of smile and disapparated out of her house, leaving her standing in her house. Nymphadora was left in her large, inherited house, looking at all the precious things on the wall. The ticking of strange clocks, the slight humming of her dwarfed, purple Puffskien (compliments of Fred and George Weasley). She had a beautiful house. But she knew she'd have to lock it up with charms, leave it for a while. She'd been alone in that large house for quite some time. She had only been a functioning adult for a short while, but it seemed like an eternity.

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Thanks again for the comments guys! I'll try to dish out some more updates to make up for the lack thereof. WeasleyWife, you continue to humble me! I think our reading each others stories like this is quite fun!


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